I wore my cowboy boots to big guns treatment round #3, or Dante's third circle of hell. I have one more adrea/cytoxin treatment to go and then I switch to something a bit more tolerable. I've been told by a marathon runner that it's the 3/4 point in the race where runners really start to break down. It's where the rubber meets the road--you are committed or you fall behind. It's all mental. My body is tired, but I have to double up on positive thoughts and tell myself--I can do this. It's hard.
But, you know what? I'm learning to be my own best friend. I haven't done enough of this in the past. I've spent too much time doubting my abilities, a "perfectionista," operating from a place of fear, rather than power. Now, when I look back, I wonder how I accomplished so much while listening to a mantra of negative thoughts.
I've been really hard on myself.
Over the past couple of years, through working a high visibility, but stressful, event and with the help of therapy (yes, these two things are related), I learned to put less value on this internal negative dialogue that so many of us listen to, and start discounting its worth. Negative thoughts are not helpful. I try to place less importance on them. My therapist told me: "these are just thoughts. They may stay with you for a time, but remember, they are just thoughts." It's a work in progress. Too, it takes courage but is the definition of empowerment.
As women, our aim should be to operate from a place of power, not fear.
I try not to let fearful or insecure thoughts stand in my way. They'll prevent me from living my vibrant life. So, kick-ass friends, get out there, take chances. Live a juicy life!
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