"Congratulations!"

That's the typical response I get when I say, "I'm a breast cancer survivor."

Honestly, I don't know what to say back to these well meaning people with their tap water cool emotions other than a mildly bewildered thank you.  While I know people feel discomfort when they hear the word cancer, and maybe they aren't certain of what to say, I think congrats! is reserved for special occasions, not survival of a serious health crisis.  

Congratulations is the thing we say to people who celebrate special occasions like  anniversaries, college graduations, and new babies.

Example:

 "My book got published!" "Congratulations!" (Where's the party?)

"My daughter's getting married!"  "Congratulations!" (She's off the payroll!)

"I won 3rd runner up in the Miss Hurlburt Field contest!"  "Congratulations!" (What the hell is a Hurlburt?)


When I say "I'm a breast cancer survivor," I'm saying that I have seen my mortality in the mirror, felt raw fear, and suffered.  Also, that I looked like a Q-Tip for a year with my bald head and skinny body.

 I'm saying I fought to stay here on this patch of the planet with my beloved family, my cherished friends, and my darling doggies.  Too, I am sharing a moment of our mortal condition, a reminder of our vulnerability, and how quickly circumstance can change our lives for good or ill.

I'm telling people that my every thought and action tumbles through my every moment is precious filter like laundry through the rinse cycle.

If you told me, "I survived an IED explosion in Afghanistan," I hope that I would take your hand, look in your eyes, and say, "I'm really glad you're here today."