Thursday, March 11, 2010

Kayaking through Life


There is nothing more restorative than a warm, sunny vacation destination. I spent the past ten days sitting on the warm sand with my toes in the turquoise waters of the Caribbean Sea! Ten glorious days in Margaritaville (minus the tequila), the land where real coconuts grow on palm trees. My family, our fabulous four-some celebrated every moment of our togetherness. After a tumultuous year, we exhaled. It was very healing for all of us.
Healing is not a passive process; you have to actively participate to receive it. We must take the time, make the decisions, set the priorities to make healing moments possible.
I've never been adventurous when it comes to travel. I used to hate to fly (embarrassing to admit having spent almost ten years in the Air Force). But one day I got tired of feeling out of control every time I had to fly somewhere. I wanted to feel dignified, fly as freely as everyone else on the plane.
I had to heal myself of that fear. With the help of a good therapist, I conquered my fear of flying. It took time. I had to work on my thinking (read: obsessing!). I learned to actively respond to fear messages so that fear did not control my life. I had good information and qualified help and I succeeded.
I'm cured of cancer, but, again, I must work at healing myself. I hope to conquer my fear of the C-Monster's possible return. Again, I'm gathering accurate information, symptoms, guidelines for good health.
My oncologist gave me a Cancer Survivorship Care Plan. In addition to summarizing my diagnosis and treatment, it provides doctor approved websites that carry accurate information to aid my transition from patient to survivor. Accurate information is empowering.
I read a story in this month's Oprah magazine by Martha Beck. She uses this great metaphor of navigating in a kayak, rather than "being on track." This analogy resonates with me. Before the breast beast reared its ugly head, I was working my way through life on some kind of linear track, always focussed on the horizon, where I'm headed, rarely in the moment.
I had to get off the train and get into a kayak in order to navigate my altered life. Yes, you do get your feet wet, but it's OK. It's realistic and more rewarding. I'm not a passive rider anymore, rather an active paddler, mindful of the present. I feel the current but can choose to move my sturdy vessel through deep or shallow waters.
Yes, things could get bumpy and my kayak might get turned over, but I'm learning the skills to right myself so I can continue my life's journey.
If you're kayaking through life like me, if you are a cancer survivor, know that you can find resources to keep yourself afloat through programs like: www.canceradvocacy.org
and www.cancerversary.org

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Perky Thoughts


Thanks to the skilled hands of my plastic surgeon, I look normal in clothes again! My surgery was a success! We swapped BRICKS for PILLOWS! Aaaaaaahh.

The surgery was almost as easy as a teeth cleaning! So for those of you out there who might be dreading reconstruction surgeries - no worries! Relax.
My surgery was performed at my plastic surgeons almost spa-like surgery suite.
"Now we've warmed your bed, but you let us know if it's too warm or not warm enough."
Wow.
I was home by noon, ate lunch and took a long nap. Recovery involved a total intake of 3 pain pills. This is amazing because I have no tolerance for pain!
I used and recommend Peggy Huddleston's audio-tape, "Prepare for Surgery, Heal Faster." It's relaxing and helps redirect thoughts to a place of health and healing.
Somehow, putting this procedure behind me pushed me forward. I am taking my life back a bit at a time. I've started riding my bike again and plan hikes around a local park which features some rather steep terrain. I'm getting stronger, feeling safe enough to say out loud, "I beat the Breast Beast!"
Eternal thanks to my fabulous medical team, family and friends.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Get your hearts out there and be happy!!
If you need more help getting in the mood please ready my column, "Recycle Your Heart" at this WOMAN Newspapers link: http://www.womannewspapers.com/articleDetail.aspx?id=2826

An Army of Hearts for Valentine's Day

Check out Dr. Susan Love's (breast health researcher and oncologist) blog at:
http://blog.armyofwomen.org
part of her Army of Women website. Have a look at the number of women (almost 400,000) who have signed up so far to work with Dr. Love on the front lines battling the breast beast! Join this army of love for Valentine's Day; what better way to show the women in your life how much you care.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Thoughts on Ground Hog Day

This just in via Jeff in Maine, a cancer survivor, speaking to a group from Maine about the role of the survivor:
"Each of us has a responsibility as a survivor of this non-discriminating disease to be there for another that has just begun the journey."

To be the experienced eyes to see the journey that lies ahead

To be the attentive ears to listen non-judgmentally

To be the comforting shoulder to lean on as long as necessary

To be the understanding smile to brighten the cloudy days

To be the unwavering arms to hold until the day is done

To be the soothing voice to speak encouraging words

To be the steadfast feet to walk side by side every step of the journey



Tuesday, January 5, 2010

From Merry to Misty


I have to take the tree down today and I've a melange of feelings about this annual task. The tree looks lovely, its still-fresh branches hefting our collection of ornaments, each one a memory of past family moments.
My favorites are many. My daughter's picture on a red paper bell, cut, glued and decorated by her then tiny two year old hands; the dancing macaroni-dressed silver star fashioned by my son, kindergarten. A mouse sleeps in her lace covered matchbox, a gift from my Mom; a red wooden heart announces "our first Christmas together," our first ornament as a couple; a painted ceramic heart given us from my mom-in-law which says, "Christmas is Family."
A coppery-gold ribbon winds its way through the tree, a glittery pathway to each memory.
"Exit here to revisit Kay's ballerina days" or "here's a reminder of Matt's football days, summer practices and cheering his high school games!" A new ornament, a Radko designed celebration of Pat's home state, Missouri, hangs near the tree top.
The essence of the Christmas tree, a personal expression, a celebration of life in all of it's brightly lit, red, green and golden silver sparkle resting on green feathered branches!


Monday, January 4, 2010

"Live your life!"

The title here, sage advice given me by my doc, Celine, when I'd asked her, "what do I do now?"
Her clear directive, seemingly easy to understand, launches a million questions! First, what is my life?
There are many parts of my life on which I'm crystal clear: my love for Pat, my kids, family and friends and my commitment to making moments, lots of memorable moments. Like yesterday, for instance, I went skiing!
And I did so in spite of all of my neurotic thoughts (what if I'm not strong enough, what if I fall?, what if the driving conditions are bad, what if there are more "what ifs?").
And then it happened. The Great Moment. After my ski lesson and a couple of downhill runs, I realized, I'm really doing it!!
I'm living my life!
Photo Credit: Jamie Miller and Resorts of the Canadian Rockies (RCR).


Saturday, December 26, 2009

Merry Christmas

Christmas is family time. Wishing you lots of memory making moments during this holiday season!