So when Oprah said that you have to know what your intention is in every interaction, especially in tough conversations, I had a walloping Aha! moment. I thought of interactions with friends and family, the times I'd gone along to get along and then later found myself regretting agreements I'd made. Or worse deciding not to say how I felt and later resenting someone because I wasn't candid, I wasn't honest, I did not say what my gut intended.
Saying how you feel or where you stand sets a boundary and we loves/hates them there boundaries, I'll tell ya.
But boundaries are good fences.
Oprah gave an example of a moment when her friend, Stevie Wonder, asked her for money for one of his charities, one of many friends who ask for $$$$ from the Oprah National Bank. She admitted that, in the past, she always gave in to him; she always gave him the money despite her already long list of charities she supports. But this time she didn't want to. So by sifting through the "what is my intention stuff," Oprah realized that her intention was she really wanted Stevie Wonder to like her. Oprah told Stevie no and Stevie Wonder still likes her.
Celebrities - whatever, right? Yeah.
However, I'm finding the process of realizing or admitting my intention in many situations is challenging as hell, and the realizations, if they come, can be rather profound, a real Aha! moment. Tough situations come and it's good practice to first understand what my intention is for my relationship with that person. Even if it doesn't go well, I know that I've at least been honest with myself.
Your intentions will lead you to better, healthier relationships. Good luck out there.
